if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
