is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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