i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
