turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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