i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
