I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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