my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
either way he was missing a nipple.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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