Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
