Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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