my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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