Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
