He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
