I intend to get homeless drunk
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
