I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
