In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
