Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
