so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
