And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
