Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
