I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
