Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize