Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
