I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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