I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
