I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
