called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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