Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
