I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
