quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
