I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
