yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
