he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
