I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I want to fling myself into the sun
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
