I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
