Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
