What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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