I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
