pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
