we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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