I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
