Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
