nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
