The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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