ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
