Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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