i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
