is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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