I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
