So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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