Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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