What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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