Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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