Will you blow on my dice?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize