Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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