Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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