apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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