I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
