ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
