So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
