My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
