I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
