Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
