She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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