also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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