so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
