NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
