Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
