thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
