just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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