im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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