you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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