belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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