I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
