I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
