You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
