Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
